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[23 Sep 2008|07:58pm]
Dear Thyroid,
Give me my appetite back, please. I'm tired of Luna bars for lunch and homemade (delicious) smoothies for dinner. I'd like to be able to consume an actual meal again.

My boyfriend comes home Friday. I've seen him once in the past three weeks and it feels like the longest three weeks of my life. Somehow this three week tour was harder for me to handle than ten months in Chicago. So many lessons were learned and God punched me in the face a few times and I loved it.

School has been kicking my ass. More intensely than Columbia College ever did. Shows you how far $1,000 can go and how far $11,000 doesn't go. I'm learning to voice my ideas and to take seriously harsh criticism. I've been feeling incredibly creative and I stomped through the woods with three beautiful girls for an amazing photoshoot on Sunday. I'm really excited and I'm going to seriously being pursuing the task of showing my work around the city. I can't wait.

I'll never get tired of loving you.

[25 Jun 2008|12:37pm]
i had a dream i was getting married and only had 4 days to plan my wedding. my mom wouldn't let me get pink roses and white daisies because it was summer time.
g-g-g- golly

369. [14 Jun 2008|11:36am]
each little honey bee
says there's gonna be
a honeymoon for two
yes i told them,
all about you.

oh, you.

[06 Jun 2008|02:32pm]
i just want everything to be the way it was before i left.

[30 May 2008|05:42pm]
[ mood | relaxed ]

sunshine and suntans. it's the way to go.

looking for a job is proving to be a rather large pain in my ass. i suppose i should soak in this free time because sooner or later i'll forget what free time even feels like.
i can't express how wonderful it feels to be living life again. god bless texas florida.

and i go where the trees go and i walk from a higher education for now...


[24 May 2008|09:40pm]
my first week back.

hugs. roses. heavy lifting. fingers made of chicken. owls. snugs. pina coladas. garth. sunshine. kisses. chickens and shrimps. dance. beer. drive. grandma parties. weddings. dandys. teas. shopping. dads. babes. mario. kisses. goodbyes. cries. sunshine. sunburns. books. creepin'. old friends. best friends. new friends. cockroaches. pool parties. blue lips. rain rain rain. love. dance. his arms.

it's funny when people ask me why I came back. It's funny because I don't feel the need to explain myself. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. Why does the why matter? It never really does. Things happen, people change, love grows and the world is beautiful.

Now if I could only find a job...
g-g-g- golly

[20 May 2008|08:15pm]
[ mood | giggly ]

It is so good to be home.

g-g-g- golly

[16 May 2008|12:20pm]
[ mood | indescribable ]

I just said bye to my roommate and that was harder than expected.

I've been sitting on my bed for a little bit now just staring out the window. This whole experience has been so surreal and while I haven't exactly felt like I've been living life, I'm leaving a huge part of my life behind. And it does feel good. As crazy as everything feels right now I'm diving in head first to a world of change and it's going to be beautiful. I've forgotten what it's like to feel more than just content and I'm so anxious to get back to life and love and happiness.

I cried as I walked away from the photo building this morning. I cried as I watched my roommate, who I complained about for 9 months, walk out the door and down the hall. I'm sure I'll cry as I take my last walk to the train and head to the airport.

This life and this journey is so odd and so strange and so fucking beautiful. I don't know how I got here and I don't know how I'm going to get to where I'm going but, I'll get there. I know I will.

Change isn't all good and it isn't all bad it's just...different.

The warm Florida sunshine will be shining on my face tomorrow and I'll have a pina colada in my hand and the love of my life by my side. What could be more perfect than that?

I'm going for a walk.


[15 May 2008|01:25pm]
[ mood | antsy. ]

today needs to hurry up so tomorrow can get here and also hurry up.

why is my roommate so dirty and why does every resident of chicago think it's way totally cool and hip to get high out of their minds everyday of their lives?

and, my neighbor needs to turn her music down. josh groban is not cool.

g-g-g- golly

Mosquito King. [09 May 2008|11:57pm]
It's funny how everything works and how everything else breaks but it still works in a new and different way.
Something someone I hardly know said tonight was so encouraging..."Don't be afraid, God will provide."

I'm letting go and grabbing on and I'm scared shitless. But, with you there's not any need to be afraid.

I order the sun to shine one everyone.

It's almost over. It's almost over.

It's the beginning.
g-g-g- golly

[04 May 2008|10:37pm]
5 boxes packed.
4 taped and shipped.
1 left to pack.
1 suitcase packed and waiting.
3 finals to take (and ace).
1 final project to complete.
11 days,
1 hour,
19 minutes,
2 happiness.

What a wonderful summer this will be.
Get ready for this face..all the time!
g-g-g- golly

[25 Apr 2008|08:00am]
[ mood | anxious ]

it's getting closer.


[13 Apr 2008|11:31am]
i need summer, boyfriend and my best friends.

this is taking way too long.
g-g-g- golly

[09 Apr 2008|08:30pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

I'm tired of people not giving a fuck.

Something has to change, but I can't let go of the reality that nothing ever will change. Our country has some serious issues. Too bad no one really wants to do anything about it.

g-g-g- golly

[08 Apr 2008|07:54pm]
[ mood | creative ]

Unusual things that make me smile:

-40%-60% off for preferred customers at dick blick. Basically that means I rule at life.
-Rainy days with uncontrollable wind that turn my umbrella inside out.
-Text messages with subjects involving camel toe and moose knuckle.

Oh, the little things in life!

g-g-g- golly

Hope Hope Hope. [03 Apr 2008|09:32am]
[ mood | hopeful ]

Life is crazy. I think I'm learning what maturity means but probably not.

I never thought I'd say this but I'm going to miss this place.

43 days.


[27 Mar 2008|08:52am]
[ mood | totally perfect. ]

It's only March and it already feels like summer. There's something magical about being here and yet there's something so foreign about it.

This is home and I can't wait to get back here and never leave again.

g-g-g- golly

[10 Mar 2008|03:05pm]
This isn't just about me.

[04 Mar 2008|07:45pm]
The way my emotions control me is sort of insane. But then I get home and I'm away from what makes me go crazy and I read the most beautiful words from the most beautiful human being given to me by the most beautiful God and I feel so blessed. So very very blessed.

Tomorrow is the day and I'm nervous. I've never had my heart worked on and I've never had to stay the night in a hospital. Your prayers would be greatly appreciated. :)
g-g-g- golly

my heart is filled with such joy. [01 Mar 2008|11:36pm]
[ mood | loved ]

Afternoon moon.

What more would I ever ask for?


[23 Feb 2008|04:57pm]
Learning. Loving. Living. Changing.


Communication is more important than I ever thought.

Fire in the hole!

See you soon.

[21 Feb 2008|10:29pm]
I've now acquired three hospital bracelets in the past seven months.
g-g-g- golly

[20 Feb 2008|10:23pm]
I'm really really really happy.
g-g-g- golly

[09 Feb 2008|10:16pm]
[ mood | drained ]

I quit.

g-g-g- golly

[26 Jan 2008|01:28am]
[ mood | cheerful ]

frostbitten toes. falling up the stairs. chex mix sweet and salty. snowball fights.

what fun.

g-g-g- golly

[12 Jan 2008|09:54pm]
[ mood | drained. ]

I'm so much like her and I feel nothing like myself.


[28 Dec 2007|11:42am]
ever feel like your friends aren't your friends at all?

georgia is cold and rainy and i just want to be back in oviedo...

growing up and moving on.

g-g-g- golly

[15 Dec 2007|07:31pm]
This weather is beautiful. All I need is you and a fireplace.

[08 Dec 2007|02:41pm]
Holly is here.

Thank God for normalcy. (And Jno Cook.)

Also, I think I've finally admitted to myself and indirectly the world known as Chicago IL that dresses are no longer acceptable. Even with double layers of tights and leg warmers. What a sad, sad day. At least it's STILL snowing.

[03 Dec 2007|10:13am]
It's difficult to have a heart (and mind) that is in a constant frenzy. Call it paranoia or just call it being melodramatic. Either way it's alive and well and I wish it could just die. It not I. Notice that difference.
It's odd to have a future that is so certain but the present is in such a disarray. Maybe my logic is just seriously flawed. So often I find myself thinking about the times when I get to go home or the times when I was home. My memories here are fading or maybe they never really existed at all. This all feels like a dream. Living here that is. I want to be here. I wouldn't be here if I didn't. But, I can't seem to break this overwhelming cloud of apathy that is so heavily hanging over my head. The only times I feel certain of my choice to move here is when I create something my professors like. But even then it's all about my journey home. I don't know what God is doing up there and I don't know what He's doing in me. But, something is at work and it's generating so much happiness and so much love.
How contradicting.

[01 Dec 2007|08:40pm]
Winner (winter). Snow. Cold. Ice. Rain. Uggs. Slippery slushy slush puddles. Snowballs. Window sills. Winter wonderlands. Hot Chocolate. Cold hands. Wet feet. Warm beds. And praise God, I'm so very in love.

One of my photos got chosen for a showcase on the 10th floor at 600 S. Michigan. It will be up for the entire spring semester.

Each day my soul is soothed and once I let go of all of the worries I had floating around in my heart I was able to embrace this feeling.

Happiness. Oh sweet sweet happiness.

[24 Nov 2007|06:37pm]
I could write about all of the wonderful feelings I felt this week and remember all of the fantastic faces I saw and all the smiles I smiled but at the end of it all, it comes down to this...I don't want to leave.

This place... it's so full of love and I never thought I would say that.

Most of the time there's only one or two things in life I ever understand.

I'm okay with that.
g-g-g- golly

two. too. to. [20 Nov 2007|06:39pm]
teas from long island. chickens. friends. balloons. naked hawaiians in big windows. fishes. smack that. t pain. couches. thursten. boo hoo. oh yeah. hugs. kisses. goodnights. good mornings. dollar signs. shoes. dresses. deluxe. toes & fingers. macbooks. red light. green light. beer. beer. beer.
g-g-g- golly

so far. [19 Nov 2007|05:02pm]
[ mood | excited ]

babes. roses. cutthroats. redlights. hugs. screaming in excitement. boos. cristinas. metal. grilled cheeze. strawbewwy milkshakes and chewwy coke fwoats. baby bellys. high fives. hugs. mamaz. gingerbread. sushi. andwea. old houses. new smells. soft beds. cup cakes. E. laughter. love. git crunked up.

home sweet home.

g-g-g- golly

[15 Nov 2007|08:48pm]
I've been contemplating doing a real update instead of this vague stuff that only I and someone who doesn't read this understands.

I'm anxious and I'm waiting for something magical to happen that is going to seal the deal on me living here. I'm not saying that I'm coming home anytime soon, this school is my dream. However, I'm waiting for something and I have no idea what that something is. I've found some wonderful people in this city. At first when I moved here I thought that to be impossible. Amidst this crazy city lifestyle I've lost touch with a lot of things that have created me. You'd think being in a city full of artistic people and attending an art school that I would feel creative and inspired but I feel just the opposite. It's getting better and I'm figuring out that my lack of creativity is stemming from simply being bored at school. I'm being taught things I learned many years ago and I am certainly not being challenged. I believe that will change next semester. I'm excited for life in the upcoming winter months. Oh, how cold it will be!

I'm excited to be so in love and to have someone so in love with me. As mushy and cheesy and gross as it sounds in the midst of stressful and shitty times, it's the only thing that keeps my heart full and smiling. And life has been nothing short of stressful. Divorce, distance, stress, work sucks, money sucks even more, emergency rooms, and a lack of communication.

But, I'm happy. I have a wonderful boyfriend, the best friends and a glorious God who loves me and I couldn't be more thankful.

Respond correctly.
g-g-g- golly

False Alarm. [09 Nov 2007|08:34pm]
I'm so dramatic.

Christmas music and shopping sprees sort of fix just about anything.

I want to go home. [08 Nov 2007|10:39am]
[ mood | stressed ]

For good.

There, I said it.

g-g-g- golly

[02 Nov 2007|06:30pm]
A rocky week was followed by a great week.
Distance makes the heart grow fonder. (It's true.)
The weather is cold and it's only getting colder from here on out.

I don't know if I'm ready for this.

16 days until I'm back in Orlando for a very short (but needed and well deserved) break. Movies and beaches and stars and thanksgivings and songs and stampedes.Oh! How wonderful it will be.

I wish the deal could be sealed already. Patience is such a pain in my ass.

First snow, where are you?
g-g-g- golly

[30 Oct 2007|10:27am]
maybe if she'd call me i would have more to say.
g-g-g- golly

[21 Oct 2007|08:39pm]
I was reminded of how much he means to me and I felt so terrible for ever forgetting.

Everything in life feels so far away and I'm excited to be on this journey in getting there.

Mistakes are made (big ones) and lessons are learned (even bigger ones). All for you.

The last person I ever expected to encourage me in life helped me to realize that life isn't supposed to be easy.

Oh, you.

This is perfect.

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